


Pure Hollywood

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 16:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7941274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The four Alpha Kids have finally entered the medium. Jake has just finished making out with Dirk's severed head, and Dirk feels it is time to make his move.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pure Hollywood

Overall, Dirk thought things were going rather well.   His suicidal plan to get everyone into the medium alive had worked. Everyone was fine and he was a badass hero, as usual. Better, Jake had kissed him.  Well okay, Jake had technically kissed his bloody, severed head. Most probably for the sole purpose of reviving him via his dream self. But whereas Dirk had just pecked Roxy and Jane to revive them, Jake was a total dork about it and had literally made out with his severed head.

He had to admit to himself, if he wasn’t such a cool dude he would have swooned at the sight.

The romantic sight couldn’t last forever though. Jane spent the next five minutes trying to strangle him while Jake was freaking out about his severed head. He was going to have to get rid of that thing.

Finally Roxy managed to calm Jane and Jake down. After several hours of shitting around with the Alchemiter and exploring the surrounding planet in pairs, Dirk and Jake arrived back at Jake’s ruined house first.   Alright, time to make his move. Dirk wasn’t nervous at all. Of course he wasn’t nervous, why would he be? He was the coolest motherfucker alive. He had all of the chill.  All of it.   It took him a few minutes to gather himself and approach his best bro.   “Jake.”   

Jake turned away from the Alchemiter, holding some new shitty pistol he had just made. He smiled. A dorky sort of smile, accentuated by his buck teeth. What a hunk.

“Yes, Dirk?” English replied.   Dirk shoved his hands in his pockets. He had to be cool about this. “I want to tell you something. Its important.”

Jake’s smile fell. He looked nervous. Uh oh. “Oh. Well, actually that reminds me. I wanted to tell you something too. If a good sir like you would be obliged? I have to be adventurous, you know.”

He wasn’t supposed to get distracted when he was trying to woo his crush, this was getting ridiculous. Dirk just couldn’t say no to that fucking dorky accent and dated lingo. “Sure man, go ahead. What’s up?”   Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes, as if preparing himself. Dirk found it troubling that he had no idea what Jake was thinking.

“All right. Here goes nothing.” Jake squared his shoulders and was suddenly in front of him. Dirk was normally fast enough to shave a man’s mustache before he even turned on the razor, but surprise and confusion made his reaction delayed. It was so unlike him.   Jake grabbed Dirk by the waist and twisted, pulling him into a dip. “My dear Mister Strider,” Jake’s voice seemed to tremble with nervousness, but he forged on with determination. Dirk’s eyes were wide and he forgot to breathe. “Would you be so inclined as to be my romantic partner?”   Dirk didn’t reply for several moments. He was very aware of how close Jake’s face was to his, and the warm hands supporting him by his back. Jake making the first move was the last thing he had expected, that was for sure. Dirk made no attempt whatsoever to break free of his less-than-cool position.   Unaware of the noticeable flush on his cheeks, he tried to remain cool as he realized Jake was waiting for an answer.   “Hell fucking yes.” Dirk replied, smoothly keeping his voice level.   Jake let out a long breath and smiled again. He seemed relieved, if still a little nervous.   “Well, then… Good!”

Then Jake surprised him again, by immediately closing the distance between their faces and pulling him into a kiss. Dirk joined in enthusiastically, quite happy to reply in kind. He had no problem with this development.   Dirk took control of the kiss, opening his mouth and pushing his tongue inside Jake’s. It was incredible. It was also incredible, if realistic, that for such a cool dude, this was his first kiss. He’d been the only guy left alive during his time on Earth, after all. It was awkward and amazing at the same time. He closed his eyes and dug his fingers into Jake’s silly, totally hot green shirt.   He was so distracted by the kiss, that he failed to notice his surroundings. Dirk had never been good at multitasking like this. His auto-responder was right about some things.

“Holy shit!”   Jake ripped his lips away from Dirks and they both turned their heads to see Roxy and Jane standing inside the doorway. It was Roxy’s voice that had snapped them out of their epic snogging. She presently looked like her mind had been blown. There was also a faint light of disappointment in her eyes. But she quickly covered it. “This is so choice! I rate this 8 out of 10!”   Before Dirk could react, Jake just fucking dropped him and jumped away in a panic. He hit the stone floor, but immediately managed to regain his cooldude composure.  “LMAO.” Roxy burst out laughing as Dirk stood up. “Classic, Jake! That was soooo romantic!” She giggled.

What a great start to a beautiful relationship.

 

 Stewing furiously in the background, Jane managed to keep her cool. She should be happy for her friends.  

  
However, she didn’t know if this was just her jealousy, but she could swear she saw a hint of unease and insecurity in Jake’s eyes. She hoped, at least, he hadn’t chosen Dirk over her just because he felt he had to.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the totally Fluffy™ first chapter. Fluff is what I do best, 100% true >.>
> 
> It will totally have a happy ending without any sadness along the way. Yep. Totally.


End file.
